As I sit here in the dark of night, on my 46th birthday, I’m pondering all of the great things that have become part of my life and how life isn’t anything like what I thought I wanted.
Growing up we lived in shiny new houses and bought new things. I enjoyed this and when I got married, my goal was always to build my dream home. I worked as a cabinet designer for 20+ years making kitchens beautiful, both as renovations and new construction. Today, I was looking for something specific in my email and was flooded with memories. Memories of designs, friends made, and award winning kitchens. This brought me to a place of gratitude. Gratitude that I have this skill set thanks to my Dad. I was also filled with gratitude that I never got that shiny new construction house. It would have been far too big for our family and lack the cozy charm of the house we currently live in. It was built in the 1970’s by my father in law and it was the home my husband grew up in. We have turned it into our home for the past 24 years and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I have had my phases of crunchiness when it comes to certain products (preferring all natural and organic) however I hated cooking and couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen making a meal for more than 20 minutes. We frequently ate out and my precious husband did most of the cooking. If I was cooking, it was spaghetti with a jar of pasta sauce and maybe some ground meat. Nothing fancy, nothing very tasty, just good enough. While I’ve gone through my phases of crunchiness, I have also gone through my phases of wanting only name brand things. I wanted Bath and Body Works, Tide laundry pods, Cascade Dishwasher pods.. I wanted Dawn and Lysol and all of the things. Recently, I don’t want any of that! I want chemical free, dye free, filler free. I want to use gentle products on my skin and around my house. I found some great alternatives to the name brands and it gives me peace of mind knowing that I’m doing the best for my family.
I thought I hated cooking. For years I thought this. Now I’ve learned that I LOVE cooking. I had to go through the phase where you just get tired of your own crap, and move out of your own way. I’ve been cooking from scratch for about 6 months now and it has made a profound improvement on my health and that of my family. We rarely have processed food in the house and everything is just ingredients. I’ve learned to plan a menu and buy groceries based on what is needed for the week. This method has saved me a lot of money at the grocery store, as well as cut down on my food waste. Each week, we completely eat out of our refrigerator… our fridge is always being turned over… no more spoiled meat, having 3 sour creams, nor trying to piece together meals from random ingredients. It’s a system that works well for me. This week, I even signed up for a meal train for a friend. I never knew that cooking would be my love language but here we are and I couldn’t love it more.
I NEVER wanted a garden! I was a nails painted girl, not a soil under the nails girl. This all changed about a year ago. I decided I wanted to grow my own food. Luckily we live in the middle of Amish country, and our friend John has been super helpful in giving tips and tricks as well as providing fertilized soil for my raised beds. He stopped by the other day to check out my progress (which there hasn’t been any… I need Jason to fill the dirt in which will happen soon) and John assured me that I’m not behind on any planting. That I’m never really behind… and whatever I choose to plant will grow and be delicious. Such nice and encouraging words. I am hoping to get this done this week or next. I’m still not completely sure WHAT to plant because I really want it all. I want a huge garden, but Jason says start small (which is good advice) so that is what I’m doing. I have 2 raised beds that I will plant soon. Soon you will be seeing pictures and blogs about my produce.
I grew up with a HUGE ambition. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, make lots of money, lead huge teams, and always be on the go. In this phase of life, I’ve learned to be content with what I have. Sure I like to buy things that I want to use… however, I’m also content working in the home. Cooking, decluttering, laundry… it’s my life now and I love it.
I’m content with my new eating habits. I’ve given up sugar, dairy, and most breads. I also never thought I’d be capable of it, nor would I want to do it. This change in eating has really improved my overall healthy and more specifically, my gut (which has been terrible for about 3 years or so). Jason and I have had countless conversations, over the years, about how we don’t see why people would, or even could, give up so much yumminess. However, it has been totally worth it and I’m not looking back.
Overall I’m just content and happy. I’m grateful and blessed beyond measure. I’m thankful today that God didn’t give me what I *THOUGHT* I wanted… but He gave me what I needed.